and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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