I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
