so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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