I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
don't judge my taste in strippers
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
