I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
