Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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