I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
