I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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