how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
