His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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