sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
