You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
