Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Farmville is her only friend.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
