remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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