I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
