$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
there's paper in my vomit.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
