I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
