my soul wont recognize me after tonight
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
