my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
