there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
