I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
