I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Randomize
