also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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