There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
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