I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
my liver is dry heaving
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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