I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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