Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
