By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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