im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
