A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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