My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
