she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
