Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
