i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
