I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
