you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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