I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
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She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
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His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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