Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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