WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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