she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
