It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Randomize
