i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize
