I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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