Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
