No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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