so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
