Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
