yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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