There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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