I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize