I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Randomize
