just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Randomize
