So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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