Whatcha textin bout Willis?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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