actually, I'm a sock model
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
