Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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