this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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