Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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