i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
