My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
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