My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
