I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
