I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm too high and old for this...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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