It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize