I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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