I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
