shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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