happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
