why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
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